Have you ever been told that you’re a born leader? If so, what was your reaction: surprise, astonishment, pride, denial? Having taken part in many leadership programs, I can tell you that anyone can be a leader. People aren’t born leaders. They become leaders.

Take a moment to think about it. Have you ever led a meeting, piloted a project, managed a group of employees, created a plan with your kids or spouse, taken the lead on a given subject, or spearheaded a movement? Given the right circumstances, we are all called upon to take the lead at some point in our lives, and you’re no exception!

Oxford dictionary defines “leader” as: The person who leads or commands a group, organization, or country; a person followed by others.” But is that a complete definition?

There are actually many types of leaders: task-oriented, people-oriented, directive, motivational, visionary, delegating, coercive, authoritarian, uniting, democratic…So what type is best? I think we can all agree that today’s world calls for a new leadership style, one that is flexible enough to adapt to the vagaries and complexities of modern life.

That being said, Brené Brown, bestselling author of “Daring Greatly”, believes that we are also less willing to believe that a single person holds the right answer to increasingly complex questions. “If there were people who had all the answers, we wouldn’t be in the trouble we are in today.” In times of flux and peril, she says, we require leaders who stand up and say, “Hey, we are struggling in this area, and I don’t have all the answers. And I need your help. And here’s where I need ideas. And here’s where I need to know what I’m doing well and what I need to do differently to support you.” That kind of leader, says Brown, “is somebody people will follow into a burning building.”

Not surprisingly, companies from all over the world want to see more of these “feminine” traits in their leaders. Women have both “feminine” and “masculine” traits, just as men have both “masculine” and “feminine” traits. Here’s a summary of these traits:

“Masculine” traits include being: dominant, strong, arrogant, rigid, analytical, proud, logical, self-reliant, dynamic, daring, competitive, stubborn, confident, selfish, bottom line oriented, unapproachable, progressive and competent.

“Feminine” traits include being: trustworthy, articulate, dependable, reasonable, helpful, flexible, intuitive, sincere, open, giving, expressive, emotional, honest, cooperative, stimulating, caring, patient and empathetic.

In a recent survey of 64,000 people (see table below), 125 leadership traits were identified and classified as being “masculine”, “feminine” or “neutral”, and then evaluated in effectiveness terms (Source: John Gerzema, BAV, Consulting WPP Group PLC 2012.) Here are the top ten traits sought after in today’s leaders:

Another study revealed that recognizing different leadership traits is a practical way to think about what works in today’s organizations.  The following traits, once considered “feminine”, were shown to be effective for leaders of both genders.

• Empathy: being sensitive to others’ thoughts and feelings.
• Vulnerability: recognizing your limits and asking for help.
• Humility: striving to serve others, to connect with people and to defer to others.
• Inclusiveness: listening to many opinions and treating all groups or group members equally, without exception.
• Generosity: being flexible with others and freely giving of your time, advice and support.
• Balance: giving equal meaning to work and family.
• Patience: embracing a long-term perspective.

To be an effective leader, it’s also important to use gender-neutral leadership strategies, such as:

• Defining your leadership goal; for example, what you hope to create in a meeting. Tomorrow, I want to explore issues with my team and keep things light.

• Being in tune with, focused on, and open to, others; seeing the best in people.

• Fully expressing yourself while being tactful, and taking responsibility for the positive or negative impact of your words.

• Reading your environment. As you’re leading the group, what’s in the air? What isn’t being said? What can you decipher from people’s body language? Getting a good read on your environment allows you to change your approach as required.

• Serving others and helping them grow by fueling discussions where everyone feels validated and appreciated.

• Clarifying your assumptions to foster an open dialogue.

The secret to becoming an effective leader is to always do your best, choose your words carefully (a single word can make all the difference!) and be compassionate with yourself.

In today’s world, we need leaders who are passionately committed without being attached to the results of their actions. Effective leaders pursue a mission and take accountability for its impact and for the energy they create in their group and in the world at large. They also continually adjust their approach to help the team fulfil its mission.

The most effective leaders change the world by guiding others to a brighter future and they do so by tapping into more feminine leadership traits than masculine ones!

I invite you to leave your comments.

Christine Lecavalier, Coach CPCC, ACC