Have you ever had the feeling that your “batteries” were dead? An initial sign is simply that you no longer enjoy doing what you do, and you lack enthusiasm and humour. When that starts happening to you more regularly, the signs become more prevalent, such as sluggishness, stomach upset, shallow breathing, impatience, inwardness, lack of engagement, reduced creative desire, procrastination, stress, and so on.

How many times has this happened to you? Occasionally, regularly, too often? In a world ruled by performance, doesn’t it seem like we’re creating a new lifestyle habit that often causes us to go into survival mode because we’re constantly waiting until the last minute to recharge our batteries?

Let’s be clear: I’m not talking here about depression. I’m talking about the “power outage” that can happen to anyone, and which is called “being human”! It’s also a kind of self-sabotage, when the situation becomes repetitive and we’re not tuned in enough to recognize what’s going on behind the symptoms. This malaise that we, as a society, have created is a lot more insidious than we think. In this article, I’d like to make you more aware that we have to look at what lies behind the situation and to clearly articulate that, yes, there’s often an “elephant in the room” that we’re ignoring.

This is a topic that comes up every so often in coaching and, even though I get my clients to take an honest look at their own situations, I also have hit the wall. The day before taking a well-earned vacation, I collapsed. I hadn’t seen it coming, and I hadn’t realized that although my “batteries” were on the charger all night, their charge was still weak in the morning. However, the warning signs were certainly there. It took me almost two weeks (my vacation time) to get some of my energy and my spark back – and to learn an important lesson, namely, not to run myself down to survival mode again, and to agree to look after myself on a daily basis.

I don’t claim to have a magic formula to share with you, but as a coach, I should lead you to a reflection that will have an impact on your habits.

Ten steps to consider in order to reverse the process:

1. Be aware: over the next week, when you wake up, be honest and make a note of your “battery” charge: on a scale of 1 to 10 (in which 0 is the minimum charge and 10 the maximum), what is your average for the week?
2. Lay down your arms: acknowledge that you’ve overdone it if that’s the case, and tell yourself that’s human. Forgive yourself and let go by saying “no” to what you no longer want. Personally, I sometimes take a symbolic object and bury it.
3. Identify the “why”: what is it that pushes you to continue when your energy level is no longer there?
4. Admit that there’s an elephant in the room: a saboteur! Give it a name: is it performance, a desire to succeed, to please, to not miss out, to prove that you’re capable of even more – or is it a fear of failure? In each saboteur, there is a hidden quality or value, a parcel of truth to draw on. What is this “2% of truth”?
5. Neutralize your saboteur: write a letter to your saboteur to tell it what you no longer ant, adopting a perspective of gratitude and goodwill. Read the letter aloud or to someone close to you. This exercise will increase your resolve to let go.
6. Specify an intention that will allow you to undertake real change. But for goodnesssake, don’t exchange six of one for a half dozen of another! Create something from this negative situation: choose a new outlook and a new direction.
7. Find an image that resonates: it’s normal for your saboteurs to return once in a while. That’s why it’s important not to lose sight of your change objective. What are you saying “yes” to when you decide to stop before reaching your limit? I use the image “me at my best” to achieve this, or else I visualize a situation in which I was in full possession of my resources, knowing that when I was in this situation I was being true to my values. I especially like to put a photo on my computer screensaver that brings me back to the essentials.
8. Draw up a rescue plan: determine the actions you’ll take, such as a free slot in your daily schedule, a morning ritual, recreation time, a personal journal to write down your thoughts, meditation, etc. Write in target dates and be sure to assess your situation on a regular basis.
9. Surround yourself with allies: a simple way of staying engaged is to talk about it. Yes, it puts you in a position of vulnerability, but at the same time you’ll know you aren’t alone. Your allies – your spouse, a friend – can also support you. Develop an alliance with them and make clear the help you need.
10. React: in everything I’ve mentioned, if nothing kindles a spark in you, if there’s no elephant in the room and if nothing appeals to you anymore, then I invite you to choose and consult a healthcare professional rather than a coach.

As I write this column, I realize I am no more immune than anyone else. All of us are fragile, and there’s always the potential of a relapse – that’s natural! The most important thing is to learn from these experiences. That’s why every day I now let myself stop. I’ve said no to “access rights to my life” and yes to putting myself first and making more room for my vulnerability. My intention is to get to live fully while ensuring that my energy stays 100% renewable!

What do you have to do to focus your attention on your physical, emotional and spiritual equilibrium?

Christine Lecavalier, Coach et leader co-actif